Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
