My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
