I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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