The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
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but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
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Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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