i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
