I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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