So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
