i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
