I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
