so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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