I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
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In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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