making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
