I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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