My sheets look like a crime scene.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
