I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
