I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
