What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
