I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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