It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
