Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
