I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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