We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
