i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm too high and old for this...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
