And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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