She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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