I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
