YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize