i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
