people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
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I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
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Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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