My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
