do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
