I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
