she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Dick very happy bro
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
