Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
