i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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