I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
