last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
