yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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