i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
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I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
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I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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