YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
