it was like eating out sand paper
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
She has the best kind of daddy issues
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
