Sponge bath it is.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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