I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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