You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
