i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
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