Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
