I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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