Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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