Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
