We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
