I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
