I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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