Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
