If i come over, it means nothing
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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