She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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